cravings

I have been craving Subway recently, and one fine day, i got an sms from a colleague who said she could bring Subway in during lunch. Yippee!

Then I began craving nonya dumplings, not least bcuz I keep seeing pple eat them all the time these days as duanwu festival draws near. And when I opened the fridge juz now, lo and behold - we have dumplings for brekkie tmrw! Yippee yippee!

Cravings are an interesting phenomenon.

more on kickboxing

Managed to be at kickboxing class today. Hurray to me! This instructor has a tendency to use graphic ways of getting us to exceute the moves correctly. Which i admit helps, cuz you know then how to aim and kick/elbow/punch accurately. But it means commands like:

"the head, the head! u're taking the head down and smash it. like that! [action: knee up]"

"shin kick! then the head! yeah, u do the shin kick to make him stumble, then kick the head!"

"box, up down up down. four times, aim - head stomach head stomach!"

and so on and so forth. Isn't my kickboxing class action-packed! Hahaha.

This week I thank God for reminding me time and again to "be still and know that [He] is God" (psalm 46:10) and to also just sit at His feet and find my rest and refreshment there (luke 10:38-42) just as Mary did.

Yes, that is what I have long forgotten to do. And that is what will be sweeter to my soul than mere ventilation and griping and passive moaning. Dear God, continue to remind this forgetful child!

yeah i really should

I might as well stay in office lah.

musings

Today is thursday. Kickboxing day. But did I manage to go? N-O, NO. BECAUSE OF WORK!!!!!!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!

Yes. As you can tell, I am very frustrated already. I can't stand it when I'm all hyped up to go for kickboxing from morning and throughout the whole day... and then because of work that crops up (and really can't be pushed to the next day. i.e. patients, not admin stuff) I can't make it in time to kick and box my stress away. which i really really enjoy.

This is the 2nd time in a row, and the umpteenth time in total.

what to do what to do what to do?! Grrrrrr.

You know, all I wanna do sometimes is to be able to get home before dark. Knock knock, MOH, do u hear us? I feel so hypocritical sometimes telling my patients that balance is the key. Work-life balance is impt. blah blah blah. And yours truly here is so not doing it either.

Anyway, some random, random rambles:

1) i lurrrrve lychees! my mum has been having all this inertia in buying them. She goes 'but it's not from china one lah, not sweet', or 'this one cannot choose lah, no good', or 'when i go ntuc by myself it's too heavy lah, how i carry?'... until one day I juz went ahead to buy. They were NOT from china, and they were all ready-packed already. But heck, they were SO nice! I finished the vast majority of it. Then I realised why I was the most desperate one in the family with regards to the lychees. I haven't eaten them for 2 years lah! And unlike durians and longans which are nowdays in abundance thruout the year, lychees don't work the same way. So yeah. I have lychee withdrawal symptoms, which are being addressed now. :p

2) I hate the Gatsby Moving Rubber ad! Just can't stomach the duh look on the guy's face as he 'dances' around, and I can't stand the way they pronounce it as 'hair warx'. Worse of all... the music is the kind that sticks in your head. and unfortunately, in mine.

3) Sleeping early is gd for u. I have crawled into bed before 11 more than once this wk, and it's gd stuff! Did I mention that I have a very terrible sleep debt? I think I'm a bit more on my way to repaying it with my new aspirations to sleep [really] early and on a light stomach at least once a wk.

Yes, i know this whole entry is uber random.

fruits of the spirit

One of the things that struck me in the church retreat was how I have changed in some ways in recent years, mostly due to my job/work. It was when I was staring at my team's drawing and the various fruits of the spirit that I suddenly asked myself, "Have these fruits been evident in my daily life lately?" And with a shock, I knew that the answer was no.

(btw can check out http://www.spirithome.com/fruitssp.html)

Joy vs cynicism... me and my everpresent ability to retort back with a acidic answer and a wry smile to boot, which has been allowed to go unbridled more and more of late.

Gentleness and the fine line between being assertive and pushy... how many times have I prided myself on being suitably assertive? I do think that I could do much better in being gently gracious in the process.

Amazing how we may think that working more and more with people may make one adept at dealing with PR stuff. BUT... it can jolly well swing the other way too and make one learn shortcut ways of dealing with equally imperfect pple.

church retreat at pd

A few weeks ago my colleague texted me saying that her week at work was probably the worst ever. I texted her back, trying to sound as encouraging and reassuring as I could, but ended with "actually, the past weeks for me have all been so bad, I can't tell which is worst anymore. it's just all one big bad blur."

That probably summed up the last few blurry months of putting up with the ubiquitous headaches, unrestful nights of sleep peppered with dreams of work, being more short-tempered with my loved ones, increased cynicism and the feeling of being feverish that would inevitably come round by every thursday.

This past week was thus a very precious time away from all these. The church retreat at port dickson was truly what I needed to refresh myself physically, mentally and spiritually. I thank and praise God for the fantastic, conducive environment, my extremely funny roommates, and most of all, for the gentle but challenging reminders that I needed as I took a step back and re-evaluated my life direction and issues at this point.

Coming up soon: Will post more on some of my reflections during the camp!